When Hearts Heal

Several years ago, in San Antonio, I had a horrible, hurtful, and heartbreaking fallout with my best friend.  The words we exchanged were full of sadness, bitterness, misunderstanding, misplaced feelings of betrayal.  It was horrible.  It was horrible to hear the things she had to say; it felt just as bad to say the things I thought I needed to say.

A couple of years ago, while I was in Hawii, after not talking to each other for over a year (maybe two, I am bad with timelines) we reconnected.  Both admitting that we didn't think we would ever have the friendship that we once shared, we were willing to befriend each other through different online channels, and in that way hopefully start a sort of healing process.  For me, this time of limbo was incredibly frustrating.  Wounds and hurtful words shared between those closest to us are the hardest to forgive and harder to forget.  The burn and the sting every time I would happen on her pictures or status comments left me in a personal struggle.  On the one side, even though I had asked her forgiveness, and she had graciously given it, I felt the guilt build back up and I would leave her page as fast as I could.  On the other side, I would see how happy she is with her hubby and her sons, how sad some of her struggles were through deployments and pregnancies, and I longed more than anything to be able to tell her that I still cared for her and wished her happiness.  This went on for a long time (in my mind...) Not long at all, when again you consider the intense struggle it is to bring broken hearts back together.

Then Sunday morning, as I was getting ready to meet a different friend for a daytrip, I got this beautiful and intense message from my old friend.  Since Sunday morning, we have exchanged several messages of love and forgiveness and of longing for our friendship to be healed.  And so... our hearts ARE healing!

None of this would have been possible without the Godly men and women in our lives that helped us turn our hearts to God when seeking healing.  I was blessed with a friendship with a Godly couple in Hawaii around the time that I was convicted of the words I spit out in anger and frustration.  It was that friendship and that conviction that led me to apologize.  And now, my dear friend has incredible Godly people in her life in Korea that have helped her find the right words to share with me that have brought us finally to this common blank page where we can look back on the past for what it was, and now we can move forward together (even though we are separated by a really big ocean) to revive the most beautiful part of our friendship- the part where we loved, respected, admired, and cared for each other.

I am so thankful.  I am thankful for the great God that she and I share, that interceded in both our lives and brought us back together.  I am thankful and honored that my friend still after it all considers a friendship with me something desirable.  I am thankful for hearts that CAN heal!

Some pics of our friendship: (shared with her permission)

We sure do clean up nice!  Both of us are still HOT tamales!  LOL

At a photoshoot done by our good friend!

My sincerest hope is that our paths will allow us to reunite in person someday and allow us to share more incredible memories!